The East

There's something ugly brewing in the projects of East Germany. It's neither neo-nazi (despite the look) nor Gangsta (despite the sound). It's pure East German anger.

Pessimistic

Of course when you have a new baby you will be showered with heartfelt congratulations and heartbreakingly sweet presents. One slight difference between German and American congratulations though. While both will congratulate you on the beauty/sweetness/cuteness/lookalikeness of your newborn, German congratulations mostly come with a disclaimer and/or damper. Our top five (plus variations) so far:

- Well, you can't tell, if it's a colic baby before it's four to six weeks old, can you.
- So have you heard about this East German couple/mother who starved/smothered/shook their baby to death?
- Juggling a baby and everyday life is pretty rough, no? So how are you gonna do that (from close relatives living nearby)?
- Now did you hear this about these friends of ours and they only discovered how sick their baby was after everything seemed normal for months?
- And the all-time German classic: Oh, he's really cute. And so sweet. Well, the problems mostly start later.

Yes, it's a German thing. Yes, it's genetic. No, neither me nor Fred have that gene, so maybe Karl's safe. But you don't know that until later, do you?

Pessimist's mug availabe at despair.com

Permissible Interrogation Techniques

Amnesty International has just released the first of three films, in which they enact interrogation technique permitted by the US government and the CIA handbook. They had an actor stand like this for six hours just like in Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and countless other places, so all the moans and groans are realistic. All part of their unsubscribe campaign.

Optimistic

You bet I'm proud of being in an anthology called "What Are You Optimistic About? - The world's leading thinkers lighten up". Not just because optimism goes quite well with my current mood and situation. But also because being thrown together with the likes of Steven Pinker, Richard Dawkins, Jared Diamond, Craig Venter and Freeman Dyson is quite flattering in kind of a hubris way. Is there genius by association? Rather unlikely, but I'll just bask in it for a moment anyway.

Born on the 9th of November

Karl Julius. Born on the 9th of November 3:11 AM

Yes, life changes right away. Yes, it's like discovering love for the first time all over again. Yes, Fred is a hero. Yes he's the most of everything.

I promised Rich never to tell any poop and fart stories. So I guess there will have to be another blog for that. But they did make fun of us coming home from America after all these years and having a child on the 9th of November. Which is like the big whoop date for Germans. They call it The Day Of Fate because of a all that history and shit. There's like 15 significant 9th of Novembers in German history. Ya know, Einstein got his Nobel Prize on a 9th of November. The pogroms started. The Berlin Wall came down. The first one was in 1313, when Emperor Ludwig the Bavarian defeated Friedrich the Beautiful in the Battle of Gammerlsdorf, therefore gaining power over all Dukes of Lower Bavaria. If your cared to know. But that's our privilege as parents now - to tell stories no matter if people wanna hear them or not.

Hyena Men

A while ago there were some images of a man leading a hyena on a chain popping up on blogs, that was shot from the back of a cab in Lagos with a cellphone camera. There was another blog shot of a few men with hyenas and baboons, also from Lagos. That inspired South African photographer Pieter Hugo go to Lagos and track them down. It turned out to be a group of minstrels travelling Nigeria with some hyenas and monkeys. Hugo accompanied them for a while. The result was an incredible photo essay. And some great travel tales:

"I agreed to travel with the animal wranglers to Kanu in the northern part of the country. One of them set out to negotiate a fare with a taxi driver; everyone else, including myself and the hyenas, monkeys and rock pythons, hid in the bushes. When their companion signalled that he had agreed on a fare, the motley troupe of humans and animals leapt out from behind the bushes and jumped into the vehicle. The taxi driver was completely horrified. I sat upfront with a monkey and the driver. He drove like an absolute maniac. At one stage the monkey was terrified by his driving. It grabbed hold of my leg and stared into my eyes. I could see its fear."

TED Talks

The annual TED Conference used to be an invitation only, very expensive meeting of the minds in Monterey, California. This year they published the legendary TED talks on the web. There's Steven Pinker's "Brief History of Violence" above, talks by Architecture for Humanity genius Cameron Sinclair, Wired's Chris Anderson on technology's long tail, legendary illustrator Maira Kalman, space-bound billionaire Richard Branson, philosopher and evolutionary theorist Daniel C.Dennett on his concept of Memes and copyright rebel lawyer Lawrence Lessig

Mental Health

More dubious internet humor:

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
- If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
- If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
- If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.