Skinny Bears

CNN just aired another one of their features using cute animals to drive home a poltical point. In late March they had done a piece about puppy smuggling to drum up support for anit-immigrations legislation. This time for a good cause though. It's the harrowing story of the Hudson Bay polar bears, who are now endangered, because the ice melts earlier in spring and freezes over later in fall. That means that the polar bears have less and less time to feed up for their four month hibernation. Supposedly they already weigh significantly less than a few years ago. Some estimates predict that polar bears will be exstinct in the next few decades.

All this of course vividly demonstrates the effects of global warming. So now you know that everytime you take that SUV to the mall a polar bear cub has to die. Look at it! Dead! Because of your slothful ways!

Now it's been said that the easiest way to get Americans to think about saving gas and thus protecting the environment would be raising the gas price above US $ 3.-. Which just happened. Unfortunately one of George W. Bush's emergency measures is to losen the regulations for clean air, so gasoline producers don't have to supplement their product with expensive additives that make fuel burn with less emissions.

Not Funny

President and First Lady Bush were not amused, when Stephen Colbert closed this year's White House Correspondent's Dinner. On his show on comedy central former Daily Show member Colbert plays the host of a rightwing talkshow modeled after the O'Reilly factor.

Some of the puns that didn't fly with the First Couple:

Colbert urged the Bush to ignore his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, “and reality has a well-known liberal bias.”
"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."
After scolding members of the press who claim the administration is rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, Colbert said: “This administration is soaring, not sinking. If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.”

Editor & Publisher described the Bush's reaction: "As Colbert walked from the podium, when it was over, the president and First Lady gave him quick nods, unsmiling, and handshakes, and left immediately."

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Watch the speech towards the end of the C-Span broadcast

You Are A Donkey Mr. Bush

At this very moment there’s a dramatic military stand-off that’s been gone largely unnoticed – between armed forces of the US of A and unapologetically anti-American OPEC nation Venezuela. The US has been conducting military maneuvers in the Caribean that have been suspiciously close to the Northern Coast of Venezuela. That nation’s populist government under General Hugo Chavéz has been a bit paranoid about the US’ activities ever since the so-called opposition movement almost turned into a CIA-backed coup four years ago. They got all the reason to be worried – with over a million barrells of oil shipped to the US each day they’re the fifth largest source for US oil imports.

Now the Venezuelans mobilized 13,500 men and launched a large-scale maneuver called Operation Integral Defence Patriot Navy that will last until June 15th. There’s a pretty good chance Venezuelan F-F-16s, ships or helicopters will encounter their American counterparts.

In the meantime Venezuela has become the main travel destination for lefties and Sandalistas from all over the world, just like Cuba, Nicaragua and Chiapas before. Chavéz has created armed militias though that supposedly are a civilian defense force. Looking at the examples of Guatemala and El Salvador in the 80s civil militias have never been a good idea for any Latin American country though.

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See Chavéz taunting Bush.

White Collar

I’ve been training down at Gleason’s Boxing Gym in Brooklyn for quite some time now. Home of the legends - Jake LaMotta trained there, Ali, 122 world champions in all. Last year I’ve run into Mike Tyson, who was doing his community service by training kids at Gleason’s. I watched sparring sessions by champs and contenders like Zab Judah, John Duddy or Asa Sandell. But none has a life’s story like my trainer David „Awesome“ Lawrence.

He’s been a professor of literature, produced a Jazz record with Nina Simone’s brother, became a multimillionaire, invented White Collar Boxing, used to come to Gleason’s in a chauffeured Rolls, put out some rap records as ‚The Renegade Jew’, became a boxing pro in his 40s, broke Kurtis Blow’s ribs in a hip hop boxing match, was investigated for some fraud and tax evasions, went to prison for a couple of years, got out, started the rap group The Lost Trybe Of Hip Hop, went from true liberal to true conservative, which makes debating him almost as much fun as sparring (we were exchanging ideological jabs in the comment sections of some posts on this blog a few months back). Now he’s mainly focusing on poetry and coaching. He started to write about his experiences again. Which makes a really great read. Which is why it's best to read and hear about it in his own words:

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Read David Lawrence’s essay about his way to and time right after prison - Between Two Drives

Tagging Air Force One

Former graffiti artist turned billion Dollar grossing textile tycoon Mark Ecko got homeland security all worried. In a video he is shown jumping a fence and tagging one of the jet engines of Air Force One. The scene was actually shot in California, where a team of workers had to sign NDWs before repainting a 747. Smart move - Ecko got write-ups all over the world. Now the man who declared the end of big brands established himself as the true heir of era of the rebel consumer - the rebel tycoon.

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Watch the video on StillFree.com

Heavyweights

Since when has boxing become so literal? Yesterday's match between reigning heavyweight champ Chris Byrd and contender Wladimir Klitschko could've been so much more than just a world championship bout. Byrd entering the ring with a Jesus T-shirt and a bible verse on his pants a true believer. PhD holding Klitschko fresh from the democratic campaigns with his brother Vitali in the Ukraine a true European. Byrd and Klitschko could've stood for tensions between faith and secular culture just like Schmeling and Lewis stood for the Nazi's masterrace insanity and the American principle of egality, just like Ali and Foreman stood for the modern black man rising and the conservative black man willing to die for his opressor's country. It would've been rather timely, but obviously too risky a marketing move in these ideological times. On the other hand HBO doesn't mind marketing the upcoming fight between Oscar De La Hoya and Ricardo Mayorga with the most racist clichees. They put the good-because-western-looking, well-mannered, business-savy, conservative Chicano against the foul-mouthed, gang-banging, tattooed Central American immigrant, who can't even muster enough courtesy to his host country to spout his profanities in English.

In the end neither prayer, nor partial American referee could save Byrd, whose turn-the-other-cheek strategy turned him into a burger patty in the meat grinder of Klitschko's surgical punches and jabs. KO! Right on! Vladi Bombayé!

Impeach the President

Objection of the week: Whoever wants to impeach the president has forgotten the four scariest words in the world: "Good Morning President Cheney".

Jack White on Coke

Whenever a new visual effect is developed the question is, how long it can dazzle us, before it first becomes boring and ulitmately an off-the-shelve plug-in. Remember morphing, made famous in Michael Jackson's 1992 'Black or White' video?

The effect imitating Eadward Muybridge’s 1870s motion capture photography shown here, was first used two years ago by Michel Gondry for the White Stripes’ ‚Hardest Button to Button’ video. The White Stripes' Jack White also wrote and performed the song in this commercial, which was leaked on YouTube after it ran in Australia first.

When news about Jack White's Coke gig first broke, his indie-creds were immediately revoked by Oasis' Noel Gallagher: "Jack White has just written a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts, I don't believe in adverts. He's meant to be the posterboy for the alternative way of thinking. Coca-Cola man. Fucking hell. And OK, you want to spread your message of peace and love, but do us all a fucking favour. I'm just not having it. It's like doing a fucking gig for McDonald's."

Coming to America

Brillant essay on race in America - an African take on life on US campuses from the Bullets & Honey blog that I found through the website of Kenya's literary magazine Kwani:
It's called Friendly Advice to the African Headed to Liberal Arts College America. There's a chapter on sexual frustrations in the land of Puritans called 'The Drought': "The Drought will lead you down several wrong paths. It will make you believe for instance that the slow-nodding liberal girl from a small town in California is about to give you action. Nothing could be further from the truth, she is likely of the opinion that you are a diseased pet placed on campus for her entertainment." And it teaches how to use racial stereotypes to one's advantage: "You must do occasional writerly huffs and adopt a few eccentricities. Walking barefoot on a snowy day for example will go a long way to excusing your every absence from collegial gatherings."

Moby Dick

Here's a great Hollywood rumor - Peter Jackson's gonna shoot 'Moby Dick'. Makes perfect sense. It's all there: The myth, the quest, the journey, the overwhelming obstacles, the beast, the timely symbolism. Especially the timely symbolism. Is there a better story than Moby Dick to illustrate the Bush administration's foreign policy? With Donald Rumsfeld as Ahab, Condoleezza Rice as Starbuck (who'd YOU think she should play?), Karl Rove as Stubb, Richard Perle as Flask, George W. Bush as Queequeg, Dick Cheney as Tashtego, Paul Wolfowitz as Daggoo, Ahmed Chalabi as Fedallah and the American public as Ishmael. Well hopefully Ishmael survives Ahab's quest in this version as well.

So will Jackson remake John Huston's classic or shoot his own?

Touché

Here's an interesting conundrum to keep an eye on - the US just asked Germany to take in 15 Chinese prisoners from Guantantamo Bay, because upon their return to China they might be executed. They're Uighurs from the Muslim region of Xinjiang in China's northwest who had been detained in 2002. Since Germany has been one of the most vocal critics of American policy and Merkel the only Western leader to openly call for the closing of Guantanamo this might be a reasonable favor to ask. Especially since there's some Uighurs living in Bavaria somewhere, so the 15 released Guantanamo Bay inmates could stay within that community. Now Germany's balking, because it does not want to put strains on its relations with China and fears accepting the Uighurs would be seen in Beijing as a hostile act. Sure this just proves the role of morals in politics once more, but the real point here might be the question, that while insisting on being a lapdog nation one shouldn't choose the masters a bit more wisely.
In May Chancellor Merkel will return to D.C. for another visit.

Product Placement Cinema

Antoine Fuqua just directed the most elaborate allegory for tire traction ever. With John Malkovic and Naomi Campbell playing Good and Evil, Pirelli released "The Call" on the web and continues the tradition of product placement cinema, which BMW started with the eight-part series "The Hire". Which actually launched the career of Clive Owen who almost became the new James Bond, as hinted prematurely in Steve Martin's "Pink Panther".

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Watch The Call.

Starpower

This is the guy J. Lo's husband Marc Anthony will play in the upcoming, J.Lo-produced film 'El Cantante': Hector Lavoe. Seen here with the Fania All Stars performing in Kinshasa/Zaire for the Ali-Foreman fight in 1974.
Lavoe was a great tragic figure of the mid 70s Fania scene here in New York. his life's story one of those epic dramas just begging for a biopic. Moved from Puerto Rico to New York, became a huge star, couldn't handle fame, succumbed to heroin, got famous for his tardiness (Johnny Pacheco even wrote a song about Lavoe's inability to show up on time for anything: 'El rey de la Puntualidad'), became suicidal, then his house burnt down, his mother was murdered in Puerto Rico, his son shot dead by a friend.
In 1993 Hector Lavoe died from Aids, which he contracted from intravenous drug use. None of his albums are currently in print, so I guess Mr. and Ms. J-Lo used their starpower for a work of pure passion.

Cult of Mac

The New York Times website ran the news that Apple is allowing Windows to run on it's machines as the lead. Just as other media treated this as the big news of the day. Aren't these ecumencial undetones while reporting a mere technicality taking the adoration of suppliers of electronic goods a bit too far? Is it like 1520 and Martin Luther and the pope just announced they wanna be friends again?

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Get more news about Macintosh fanatic behaviour on The Cult of Mac blog.

Barney & Bjoerk

They need HELP ! Seriously. Self-indulgency and pretension have reached a worrisome stage. Even if that trailer looks oh so mesmerizing. Couldn't they've just shot a PSA against whaling instead? And - is Bjoerk Matthew Barney's Yoko Ono? Or the other way around?

Scam You

The biggest hit in Nigeria is currently the song 'I Go Chop Your Dollar' by a group named Osofia. The song is actually sung by Nigerian comedian Nkem Owho and is featured in his film "The Master", which is a comedy about the so-called 419 scammer. You met them - they are the guys writing you e-mail promising you a cut of the multimillion Dollar riches one or the other relative of a deposed African official has to rescue from Africa. If you just front some of the staggering transfer fees. 419 scammers are named after the Nigerian criminal code penalizing this type of fraud. They're well known all over the world, but still get away with billions of Dollars from gullible victims in Europe and America. If you think Nigerians feel bad about them, watch the video and listen to Owho sing: "I go chop your Dollar, I make all your money disappear. 419 is just a game. You are the loser. I am the winner."