Conservative Deserters

This mail was not even close to funny, smart or witty, but it came from a distinctively conservative friend, so frustration seems to run high in the US of A.

>>> Subject: think ahead

To be a Republican you need to believe:

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him , a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet .
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.

If you don't send this to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '08.

War

Hilarious mock commercial for a ficticious medication healing politicians' sagging ratings. It was produced by the Drug Policy Alliance who wants to remind us that there's another war that the US can't get out of.

Brillance In Pandering

Even better than the Clintons' clumsy efforts in ironic pop culture references might be Barack Obama's new collection of ringtones, which you can sample right here on his site. Who is he pandering to? The mallrat demographic? The high school swing vote?

The Clintons

Awkward? Well, I'll take the Clintons' clumsy heartland humor anytime over the current administration's Kennebunkport cynicism. Although Hillary's musical taste surely has no redeeming qualities, as proven by her selection of a campaign song with the help of the general online public. And the winner is - Celine Dion? That's why nobody likes Hillary. Shameless, market researched opportunism.