Deep In Bavaria

So finally the Free State of Bavaria officially registered us as infidels. I think that county clerk thought, if she delays bureaucratic procedures long enough Fred might go into labour and that way she would've saved an innocent soul from the dreads of secular humanism. In Bavarian thinking God's law tends to overrule the constitution. But the ways of the devil of secularism are merciless, and so we produced each and every document she asked for correctly, timely and in a courteous manner, until she reluctantly had to put that stamp under form number 666. Whatever number that form has, she sure made us feel like we just signed such a pact. So as of now our flat rate plan to talk to God is voided. Most likely lines were cut already, when I wrote favorable reviews of Chri Ofili's "Holy Virigin Mary" and recent works of Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens.

But we haven't reached the deepest depths of Bavarianism yet. This weekend is the official kick-off for this year's Oktoberfest. Fans have been gearing up already. At the county clerk's office the cashier was already wearing a Dirndl. When we went shopping on Viktualienmarkt today the levels of mid-day public drunkenness and wearing of leather-made short shorts were impressively high. More to come. For weeks on end now.

In God's Country

Not being of faith is an active chore in Germany. After 20 years abroad I wasn't aware of the fact that I'm still considered a member of the Lutheran congregation, despite the fact that my hippie parents had me blessed by the Guru Maharishi Yogi when I was about seven (he's the one with the levitation trick, but hey - it was 1969 and he was the Beatles' guru, so I have to give them credit for being very much with it). Despite widespread resentment of America being a de facto religious state, the seperation of church and state in Germany is far behind the US. Church officials still sit on boards of public institutions all over Germany, including public radio and TV. Their are harsh penalties and steep fines for blasphemy. In Munich no building can be higher than the main church. On certain holidays it's against the law to dance and party, which almost got the MTV Europe Awards cancelled in Munich this year. Anyway - the law of the church caught up with me, because if you do not apply for non-religious status, a church tax amounting to five percent of your income tax is added automatically to your tax bill. Which I recently noticed.

We tried to correct this, but they don't make it that easy. The county clerk was a middle-aged, grey haired woman whose mood was about as bright as a Wackenhut guard's. She didn't even try to hide her disdain for all heretics wanting to leave the Christian faith, accompanying every step of the bueraucratic process with eye-rolling, grunting and sneering. We didn't take it personal, since a young, Turkish looking woman passed through the office who obviously just had been through the bureaucratic ringer. Anyway, after a lot of grunting and sneering she tried to explain to us, that the Bronx and Brooklyn, where we got married/registered are mere quarters, can not be seperate cities or counties (a classic German trait by the way, insisting on points made, but I was actually glad, because after twenty years in New York I can still get lost). When she finally had it with us godless pests she demanded to see a copy of our wedding license. Which we actually had in our car down in the garage, but she pointed out that we had to get it in two and half minutes, because then her lunch break would begin. So we gonna have to try again tomorrow.

More soon.