Cautionary Tales

This might very well be the best American Idol season so far. One of the reasons is the ease with which the judges and the host make that show truly their own. There's some doubt though, if that still makes it a show suitable for the target group of tweens and teens. Maybe the foursome's next project should be a sitcom for adults called "Cautionary Tales of the Hazelden Gang", which would be a cross between "Friends", "The Surreal Life" and Sandra Bullock's "28 Days".

And here's a possible cast of characters:

- Randy: If you get used to weed at an early age, your mind and vernacular might get stuck in an ancient pop culture and you could end up sounding like Arsenio Hall for the rest of your life.

- Paula: If that package insert tells you not to mix the meds with alcohol, you really shouldn't.

- Simon: Those blunt, unfiltered steroid aggressions are rather entertaining, but don't forget the longterm physical toll.

- Ryan: If your pharyngeal area suffers from chronic numbness, you can still be a competent host, but if your rapid moodswings start to make your facial expressions skid just a little, it's time to slow down.